Trust

God had put on my heart to start a bible study to encourage and empower women, but when summer came and went with no study, I felt that I had somehow disappointed Him.

The year following was one of great growth and self-discovery as I sought more and more to please my Mighty God.

Summer returned and so did my desire to initiate a women’s bible study.  This time I turned my thoughts into actions, and armed with the vision the Lord had given me and with the support of the Pastor’s wife, the Monday Morning Meeting on the Mountain was launched on June 4, 2012.  I had no idea what God had in store for me.

Six a.m., beginning of the week, who in their right mind would do such a thing?  But God called them and they came.  We began our walk/run with a somewhat steep climb.  We were to go at our own challenging pace, in silence, as we sought what the Lord would teach us as we met Him on the mountain.  When we returned 45 minutes later we would write our revelations with the choice to share them or to keep as private treasures, then we dove into Mark Chapter 1.

The insights shared by the women were enlightening.

Later that week I received an email from one of the women who, after conferring with some of the others, felt that it would be beneficial if we changed the format to allow conversing as we walked.  Unbeknownst to her, the Lord was using her in a powerful way.  I struggled with this concept, but I knew I should remain somewhat flexible.   I wanted to encourage the women to continue and reap the benefits of the study but would I be compromising?  This was all new to me as I had never led a women’s study before and I felt very conflicted.

 “Lord, I thought you clearly showed me what this study would look like?”  Do I change it?  What should I do?  His answer was clear.  And it was then that I realized, I was not meant to begin the study last year, He wanted a willing servant but there was more He had to teach me first.   He showed me how there will always be conflict when walking closely with Him and I needed to set my priorities.  Was I seeking to please Him, or was my priority to please people?  Because more often than not, the two would be in conflict. 

I avoid conflict like the plague, and confrontation brings me great discomfort so I have learned to keep the peace by avoiding both.  Not realizing that the best way to avoid conflict is to face it head on.

God used this situation in a powerful way by putting this lesson to the test, “Are you wanting to be a Me pleaser, or a people pleaser?”  Wow.  Time to apply what He’s teaching me, and now to respond to the women.  I sent out an email of encouragement to persevere.  There is much He is wanting to teach us in our private time with Him.

The following week I was feeling the shroud of discouragement as one person after another told me they were not going to be able to come for one reason or another.  Lord what do I do?  Again, His reply was clear.  He was calling, but it was not for me to be concerned with those that didn’t answer.  My task was to support, love and encourage the ones who do.

Each week, He has revealed so much to me that I wonder if this is more for my benefit.  The incredible revelations the women share to the insights on the passages, I have learned so much.  Each week He has also shown me a different element to add to our “walk” time and it is my challenge to present it to the women, each time working to get past the “people pleasing” side of me.

Week three, you’ve GOT to be kidding me.  Alright then, here it goes Lord.  I handed each of the women a horse with the simple instruction of walking with authority and they will respond.  I knew some of the women did not have experience in this area but I had to put my trust in a loving God as I prayed for safety.

The youngest horse in the herd had never been up the hill before and I sat back and watched in awe.  Full of fear and lack of trust, she refused to move.  The patience and perseverance of the woman was astounding.  Forward three steps back two.  Forward four steps back two.  Forward ten steps back three.  Each new step forward was a step toward uncertainty, back to the familiar, forward to the familiar and then new steps into uncertainty.  There was a goal, but it would not be rushed.  With kindness and gentle encouragement they were going to meet it successfully, arriving in trust. As I watched, I saw the parallel of our relationship with a loving, merciful God as He meets us in our uncertainty.   It swept over me like a flood.  He has a goal, a purpose for us.  He will challenge..and wait.  He will encourage..and wait.   I realize how much more "ground"would be covered, how much further I could go, if I disregard my own fears and put my trust fully in Him.  But He will not rush us, in His great mercy and love, we will arrive, together, in victory.

Routine

We all do it, everyday. We have our routine, it helps the day run smoothly. Predictable.
Any disruption/interruptions in routine, our flow of the day, can induce stress. Who we are, when our routine is disrupted is a good indication of our true character.
I thought, why do I, if I truly trust God, work so hard at keeping myself safe by staying in the familiar?
I decided to break out of routine, praying for sensitivity to the Holy Spirit and His leading. And when uncomfortable, keep my eyes on Him without returning to the familiar.
It was an early Saturday morning no one stirred except for the dog, who seemed to know the very moment I opened my eyes in the morning and loudly exclaimed it was time for our walk. Not wanting him to wake everyone in a house where sleep was precious due to a new baby, I obliged and we quietly slipped out.
In just 3 hours I would be doing my first 5K with my daughter and son-in-love so we'll have to make it a short one I thought. I decided to reverse our route.
I was intrigued that with such a simple change, I saw my route from a different perspective. I was noticing things that I had not noticed before despite the many times I passed this same way. How life circumstances can be much like this, if we take the time to see things from the "other side of the street" so to speak.
I was now coming to a part of my route where I questioned the turn to take so I decided to activate my "internal GPS" My God's Power Steering - Jesus. Today was not an intentional test of trust but here I was tossed into full dependence. I was finding myself in an area that was very unfamiliar. If I turned around, I would be relying on myself, the familiar, and I would not be fully trusting God and where He wanted to lead.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
I should mention at this point that I was in a country where I did not know the language,not familiar with the neighborhoods but as a side note, I did not leave home without wisdom, discretion, and a 100 pound Doberman.
As we walked, Fear asked to join us. I knew if I entertained Fear for even a little while he would refuse to leave and could dull the reception of my GPS. How to get rid of him while he is persistent? I began to sing. Praise songs to my Holy God. The declaration in song of Who He IS changed immediately my perspective of my situation and I began to pray. I prayed for direction. I prayed for family not to worry. I prayed to be home in time for the run we planned to do as a family.
Just in front of me I noticed a Polizzia Metro sign. I thought I would take my chances to head in that direction, even though it was early on a Saturday morning and the station may not be open. I walked around the corner in a desolate industrial area and noticed vendors setting up for the local Saturday market but no polizzia station.
What do I do now God?
Just then a Polizzia car pulled up to the market. Although I didn't know the language, I was able to communicate that I needed directions back to the area that I was staying in. One officer spoke broken english and insisted that I, and my rather large dog, get in the car and they would take me where I needed to be. I graciously and humbly accepted their offer. Not realizing that I had travelled quite a distance from home, I had the priveledged opportunity to talk to two of God's "angels".
I'm back home now, in my familiar home, in my familiar country but the lessons I learned in a brief moment in time will stay with me a lifetime.
I praise God that He hears us in our times of uncertainty, our times of trouble.
I praise God that He answers prayer, sometimes, just as it leaves our lips.
I praise God for guiding our steps, and when we are obedient, how we can be a blessing to others.
I praise God for the valuable lessons He teaches us about ourselves, about Him, when we have the courage to step out of the familiar.
I praise God for sending those uniformed angels and pray that I too can bring a blessing to others and give God the glory in return.

Let brotherly love continue. Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Hebrews 13:1-2

Storms

I'm not a runner. 

But I've learned that the Great I AM is most completely the Great U  R.  Rarely does He tell us what we are not.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me Philippians 4:13
I cling to this truth when self doubt tries to invade my thoughts. And, although I would classify myself a slow learner, I am beginning to understand that when He says go, the wise don't hang around. 
He said Run.  and so I did. and have been ever since. 
The things revealed to me as I run are treasures. Some to keep, some to share.  The changes occuring physically can be a tangible mirror to the changes He is making within. 
Despite all the positive reasons to go, tonight, I put it off as long as could. Eventually I dragged myself to my starting point and began.  The pain as my muscles tightened, the pain as my lungs expanded and contracted to keep up with increased demand.  If only I had some water for my dry mouth. My thoughts were truly inward, MAN! what a complainer.
A quarter of my run finished, it began. Slowly and then more steady, the drops landing sporatically on the road ahead of me, an occasional one hitting my face.  Ah, how refreshing, the cool rain was!  Just the day before, however I looked upon it as a deterent of what I needed to accomplish, but today, it was just what I needed as I opened my mouth toward the sky to catch the falling droplets. 
Reaching the halfway point, the sky began to light up as lightening streaked the sky and thunder rocked the heavens.  Spectacular, truly spectacular!  I couldn't help looking up as I ran. 
The sun, trying to set amid the commotion, radiated a silver outline on the dark clouds which, in great collaboration framed a most glorious array of color.  Lightening, not to be outdone, continued with Thunder, and in unison accompanied me, now thoroughly drenched but completely invigorated by the Power surrounding me to a final strong finish.
I think of the Mighty God that orchestrated the timing of His beautiful display. Amazed once again by a fragmentation of His splendor. 
I reflect on the challenge I faced earlier just to get out of the door.  I think about everyone God brings across my path, how each one I meet, everyday, faces their own challenges, sometimes a storm, sometimes a season.
I reflect on this and I thank Him.  I am thankful that all of our challenges are hand picked for us by a loving, merciful God.  Challenges to make us stronger, experiencing victories through His Power so that when the time comes, we can be instrumental in leading others to victory.
I pray that you too have reason to thank our Mighty God, that through the Power of the Lord Jesus Christ, I can do anything, you can do anything. 
That when He says go, we are not alone,  He is there, every step. He is all that we need.
  

God listens to pleas and thank yous...SGKaplan

How one trains on the flat maybe indicative of how strong one will finish. Rather than conserve energy in anticipation of the next hill, draw upon God as the Ultimate Resource, listening always to His words of encouragement, pushing harder... increasing strength and endurance so that together, as the next hill approaches, you'll be ready for that one that may need to be carried. SGKaplan

Mediocrity is easy, excellence requires effort... Strive for excellence. SGKaplan

If we linger in the familiar, we miss out on the grand adventures God has for us. Be bold and courageous. SGKaplan