WHAT on EARTH am I here For

I couldn't hug her long enough.
As she passed through security I couldn't help thinking that two months would be an incredibly long time before I saw my oldest daughter, a young 19 years old, again.
The holidays were going to be empty without her. The hardest part for me was, she wasn't just going to another part of the States, she was going to another part of the WORLD, by HERSELF. It is always easy to SAY that I have faith, but I guess I seldom put myself in the position where it will be tested. My faith now, was and still is, being tested.
Our dearest friends had moved back to South Africa three years prior, leaving us with the familiar empty feeling I was now experiencing. My daughter, like the rest of us, had the desire to visit them from the moment they left, but it was only now that one of us was actually doing it.
I was now faced with the realization that it was NOT because of me that she has seen 19 years come and go, it was because Someone far greater, Someone with a much greater love for her, Someone with a purpose for her life, and that Someone was going to see that the purpose was fulfilled. My responsibility now was to trust Him and encourage her to follow where He was leading, as hard as it was for this selfish mother to do.
I have several favorite scripture passages, in fact, when one comes to mind I always think " oh, that one is my favorite", but one of my MOST favorite is found in Psalms, written by King David, a man after God's own heart. It is a beautiful description of the great love that God has for His people. A complete foreknowledge of each individual being created to be who they are by the work of loving hands.
It is as follows: O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely , O lord, You hem me in- behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfuly made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. Psalm 139:1-18
Our God is a God of plan and purpose. There is not one of us that does not have a part in his perfect plan. He has created each of us with talents and gifts that only when we use these for His glory are we fulfilled. Sometimes we are asked to sacrifice according to His purpose. When thinking about it though, there is no greater sacrifice than what has already occured. Jesus Christ gave up His own life so that all humanity, I and everyone that I love that acknowledges Him, will live with Him for all eternity. Everything that has happened, has because He has allowed it, NOTHING takes place without His command.
It is easy to go day to day in routine without thinking much about purpose. It is when hit with a tragedy, a disruption in routine, a crossroads, when forced to think WHO am I?
A common cop-out for lack of a better term, okay excuse, used is "what can I do to make a difference anyway?".
This misconception I commonly think of as a thread of deception from the enemy and totally belittles the importance God places on each individual life.
There was a movie a few years back in which the premise was the entire human race would be wiped out by one virus, one by one as we interacted with one another, with the thought that we are all connected.
For example, if I were to say something to everyone I knew and each of those people said the same thing to everyone they knew, etc., soon the entire world would have the message.
This idea really is not far from the truth. My actions or inactions DO have an effect on others. I DO make a difference.
Psalm 138:8 The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever-do not abandon the works of your hands.
The Lord hs created each of us with a plan and a purpose and through our actions we are blessed, but we are not asked to do this alone. He is there to guide and direct us. Another untruth commonly used is "God is too busy", now I do not EVEN know who generated this misconception but again it is an effective tool of the enemy.
Seriously, how can a God who created the universe and desires a relationship with his creation not have time for His beloved?
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all you heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13
I think of all of this while my daughter is half a world away, out of my reach but still in His hands and I think of what a comfort it is that it is He that is protecting her and not me.
As we continue to devote time to Him in prayer and praise, my prayer for you is that if you find yourself in a place where your faith is tested that you trust God completely, trust that He knows you completely, knows your thoughts, fears, anxieties, dreams, and is there with you through everything.
Take care and God bless.